Q: I need your advice on my former relationship. After eight years, my ex-fiance suddenly decided that our relationship wasn't worth keeping anymore. Then I was informed by my gal pals that he was with another woman. I thought that we were supposed to be married by now, but I think that his mom had something to do with our sudden breakup. Do you think we failed at keeping our relationship together? Should we have tried harder to stay together? We were together from April 2001 to December 2008. I sure will miss him, big time. Do you think we should fight for this or is it too late?

Steve: Who is this “we”? If he's seeing another woman, he probably doesn't want to fight to save your relationship. The fact you were together for eight years, and engaged, and he made no move to get married, also suggests a lack of true commitment on his part. Time to look for a new partner, and no more eight-year engagements, OK?

Mia: A man who really wants to marry a woman won't make her wait eight years. Steve's right about there being a lack of commitment. If marriage is your goal, never, ever let a man tie up this much of your time again. It's not fair to you.

Q: I went on a date with a man back in December who took me to a nice restaurant. Afterward, he told me he had a problem with the fact that I'd taken a doggie bag of leftovers home with me. The guy told me he doesn't like it when women do this, because


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it makes him feel as if they are more interested in the meal than the date. That really bothered me. In fact, I'm still baffled. Is it tacky for someone to take a doggie bag home on a first date? He made me feel like I was declasse.

Mia: Honey, please! Tell Mr. Picky to go pick on someone else. He's the declasse one — not you. You were perfectly within your rights to take your leftovers with you. Remember, healthy relationships are about making you feel good about yourself, not allowing someone to make you feel insecure or to second-guess yourself. Move on to the next guy. I'll bet he'll even carry your doggie bag to the car for you.

Steve: Wow, that's the first time we ever heard of that problem. Didn't his mother teach him that wasting food is a sin? I'm wondering what else is on his list of rules for you.

Steve (not his real name) is 50-something and has been married to his second wife for 20 years. Mia (not her real name) is a 20-something single immersed in the dating scene. Have something to say? Add your comments to the end of this story at www.marin-sonoma-here.com; e-mail questions to S&M@phillynews.com or write to S&M, c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.